


Medical Leave

by iloveitblue



Series: Prompts [399]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack mostly, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-18 13:15:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8163292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveitblue/pseuds/iloveitblue
Summary: The one where Clint is benched for medical reasons.Mostly crack. lol





	

**Author's Note:**

> Phil entered the conference room and passed around the briefing packets he prepared. He turned to the screen behind him to make sure that the right pictures were visible before he cleared his throat to begin the Avengers’ briefing for their latest mission. 

“Let’s begin, shall we?” He asked the room in general, hoping the rhetoric tone was enough to silence them.

“We can’t start yet. Clint isn’t here.” Steve interrupted. 

“If it’s Clint, we might as well start. I bet he’s gonna come through that door fifteen minutes late with Starbucks.” Tony rolled his eyes.

“You’re one to talk,” Natasha scoffed, “It’s a miracle you’re even here at all.

“I wouldn’t be if Steve hadn’t asked Thor to throw me over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes. Do you realize I could be sleeping right now? I was working for three days straight. I deserve to sleep.” Tony ranted, “You know what, if I have to be here at this ungodly hour-”

“It’s eleven in the morning.” Bruce supplied but Tony spoke over him.

“-Birdbrain has to be here too. So, out with it, Agent. Where is he?”

Phil cleared his throat and pretended to rifle through his own briefing packet, “The Avengers will have to work temporarily without Barton’s help. He’s been benched.” 

There was the silence that Phil expected followed by raised eyebrows. 

“What wrong has our friend committed?” Thor asked the same time Tony started furiously typing at his phone.

“He didn’t do anything wrong, per se, he’s just not physically able to join any missions at the moment.” Phil tried to explain without explaining anything.

The screen behind Phil blacked out suddenly and was replaced Clint’s face on video call. 

“Hey, Legolas. Where are you?” Tony asked him, ignoring Phil’s glare directed at him. 

Phil shook his head softly and just sat down. Honestly, why these people were Earth’s last line of defense was beyond him. 

“What’re you talkin bout? I’m in my room.” Clint answered, scooping a spoon of what looked like chocolate ice cream into his mouth. 

“Well, we’re having a briefing right now,” Bruce informed him, “Why aren’t you here?”

“I was benched,” Clint raised an eyebrow at them, “Let me guess, Phil explained everything and you didn’t listen to him.” He sighed.

“Well, he didn’t really explain everything.” Steve answered, “Why were you benched?”

Clint shrugged, “Medical reasons.”

“Are you ill?” Thor asked.

“Break anything?” Natasha added.

“You look okay to me,” Bruce tilted his head sideways.

“Do you want us to bring you chicken soup after the briefing?” Steve offered.

“Faker.” Tony accused, “If I have to be here, so do you so get your butt down here or I’ll have Thor throw you over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes.” 

“I’d be there if I could move at all, but I,” Clint paused trying to look for a good way to phrase his next words. “I got an injury from last night’s mission.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at him, “You weren’t on a mission last night.”

“Yes, I was. It was a secret mission. Top priority hush hush. You know the deal.”

“What kind of injury is it? Bullet wound? Broken ribs?” Natasha asked to clarify.

“Nothing major like that. I just pulled something. Don’t worry about it.” Clint waved it off.

“What did you pull?” Bruce asked.

Clint mulled over it for a moment before he sighed, relenting, “My groin.”

It’s a feat, seeing all of the Avengers look so confused because of two words. 

“What kind of mission could you possibly be doing to cause you to pull your groin?” Tony asked, looking more confused than that time he woke up with clowns in his room making balloon animals.

“Making sweet, sweet love to Phil all night-”

Groans were elicited from everyone in the room, and Phil pinched the bridge of his nose trying (and failing) to look annoyed and resigned. He ended up looking more like he was trying not to laugh.

“No, I’m serious,” Clint tried to talk over all of their groans, “I must have been pounding so-”

Phil turned the screen off and tried to gather what’s left of his composure before he sighed and turned to the Avengers. “Let’s get on with the mission, shall we?”

**Author's Note:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/151106004746/im-still-mad-about-that-half-a-point-thing)


End file.
